Oi! Are you listening?
It’s 1100. You’re on your fourth call of the day, the Amazon delivery has just arrived. You turn your camera off to answer the door and make yourself another coffee to get you through the rest of the morning. Then, there’s silence on the other end of the screen. “Lee are you still there?”. Sh^t! You’ve missed the question. “Yes, sorry, can you repeat that pls?”
Sound familiar? In the modern world with its almost limitless competing distractions, it can be hard to give your full attention to one of the most powerful tools in sales – listening. This week we’ve dedicated Three Things to a skill most learn within months of being born but few ever master. Enjoy.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”.
Epictetus
#1. Remove distractions
Whether you are in an online, virtual on in person situation it is critical to give the person you are listening to your full, unwavering attention. At the very least this will demonstrate that you are interested in what they have to say.
If online, make sure the camera is on (I hope you wouldn’t walk into a meeting with a paper bag on your head) and that you sit forward in your chair. Turn your email and WhatsApp notifications off, put the dog in the garden and tell the Amazon driver to leave the parcel on the porch.
For an in-person meeting, the drill is the same. Listening is a whole-body exercise – use a leaning forward position to look engaged and curious. Maintain regular eye contact with your subject. Unless you’re taking notes on it, make sure your phone is on silent and out of reach to avoid email checking. In a meeting environment with multiple parties ensure you give each party your full attention.
#2. Silence is golden
The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.
Peter Drucker
We live in a time where every second is precious and you’re likely to be running from meeting to meeting all day. Provide your speaker with the space to express their full views without being interrupted. Let them speak at their own cadence so that they fully articulate their thought process. Whilst extended periods of silence can feel uncomfortable (especially for this author), these can be incredibly valuable. Spend the time observing your speaker and looking for non-verbal cues as to how they are feeling about the subject matter.
DO NOT:
- Try and complete someone’s sentence or thought for them!
- Cut them off mid-sentence with a phrase like “Yes, I completely agree” in a effort to move onto the next point.
#3. Show you’ve listened.
A very simple technique to demonstrate your understanding of what’s been said is to summarise what you’ve heard back to the person talking. This is best done at regular intervals during natural pauses in the conversation. If you wait to the end of the conversation, it can seems unnatural and you are more likely to forget something. Not only does a summary of what you’ve heard demonstrate listening, it can also clarify your interpretation of what has been said aligns with your speaker.
